Real Intent

I had an exemplary mission president. One of the most important lessons he ever taught me was about judging. (The fact that we need to execute judgement throughout life aside,) he taught me that God judges us by not only our actions, but by the intentions behind them, as well as the desires of our hearts. Likewise, this is how we should judge the actions of others.

I was thinking about this recently, as I was reminded about how often people misjudge one another because they make assumptions about intention, or disregard it altogether. For example: Two women decide to divorce their husband. With this much information, the women and their actions look identical. However, the first woman is in a highly abusive relationship in which the husband refuses to work things out. The second woman is simply tired of her husband and the way he throws his socks on the floor. Are their actions the same in this light? Obviously not.

I suggest to you that if we knew the whole story behind the actions of others, we wouldn't be so harsh in our judgments toward them. My husband once told me a story about a man on the road who was driving like a crazy man. He was speeding, cutting people off and weaving in and out of lanes. His fellow drivers were enraged, honking and cursing at him. What they didn't know was that the man had valid reasons for driving the way he did. His son had been involved in a horrible accident and had only minutes to live. This loving father wanted only to see his son one last time to tell him goodbye.

Extreme, I know, but here's the point: You don't always know why people do the things they do, and you will be much happier with yourself and people in general if you simply learn to give the benefit of a doubt.

Think about it: Thinking the worst about people and their choices results in anger, frustration and resentment that you carry with you and share, so considerately, with your friends and family. Assuming the best of people cultures a forgiving, understanding nature.

So next time someone does something that makes you want make a voodoo doll of them, just stop and think of what good motives they could possibly have. You'll feel better, your friendships will be stronger and your maturity will grow. Others will be impressed by your kind-heartedness and will strive to become what you presume they are. Win-win!