So my husband and I recently bought a house in an HOA. While not a fan of the HOA itself, we agree with most of the rules set in place, and at the very least the reasoning behind them. We try to follow them pretty closely, and stay under the radar.
One of the biggest emphases in the agreement is the attention given to noise control. Especially in the early morning and late at night, they expect people to be quiet. I get that. People sleep when the sun is down. I've gotten pretty used to how nice it is when the neighborhood gets quiet at night. I sleep better, and heaven knows we could all use that.
Until recently.
We share a back alleyway with four families, and our bedroom window faces that alleyway. It's where people's garage doors are and the garbage is collected. Noise in the alleyway echos off the back walls of the houses and amplifies it just a bit.
There is a family to whom, up till recently I hadn't given any special attention. But that all started to change when one week, inexplicably the early morning silence was shattered by the sounds of screaming children. I'm not talking about the playful sporadic kinds of screaming that I associate with play. I'm talking about the kind you expect to hear in an ER when a child's limb has been ripped off, or the kind that might occur when a child is in danger of being kidnapped by a child molester.
Every morning. Every single morning.
And then it started to happen in the afternoons too. I always know when the kids are home from school because the screaming matches have begun. Funny how that's also the same time I put my daughter down for a nap and try to catch a few Zs myself, as I'm growing another human being. Hilarious.
Today when the screaming began, I went to the window to make sure it was the people I was thinking (so that maybe I could talk to the parents or something) and maybe figure out what all the fuss was about. The little girl who was screaming at the top of her lungs that her brother was a "poo face" was holding a snow shovel. I thought of going down to talk to the kids, but then I realized that all I was imagining myself doing once I got there was taking that snow shovel and whacking her over the head with it. Maybe not such a good idea.
But all this got me thinking. Don't their parents know? Can't they hear it too? Don't they realize how annoying this is? Are they even home? And then, where do the kids get it from? I know I may not be able to relate entirely with having kids of that age (around 8 and 10), but I have kids. I've taken care of lots of kids. And one thing I know for certain is that they need boundaries. Not just for the convenience of momentary good behavior, but also for their psychological health. They want to know where the boundaries are, and they will push and push until they find that wall. When kids don't get the boundaries they need, consistently, they spiral out of control. And that is when the kids take charge of the parents. The parents become slaves to their own kids' tanrums, never knowing how to get them back under control, never knowing how they lost control to begin with. (Obviously I'm not talking about the kid in the grocery store who randomly bursts out because he doesn't get a treat, or the one in the restaurant who bangs her knee and starts to scream. I have all patience for those situations because they happen to everyone. But seriously, not everyone's kids scream their heads off twice a day for half an hour at a time.)
Parents, be the parents. Love your kids enough to say "no". Be strong and consistent with them, and your life will be a lot happier. And your neighbor probably won't go berzerk on them (or you) one day.
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