I don't have much time to write anything new today, but I will copy something I posted on Facebook a few weeks back. This was in response to some snide remarks I received in response to something I posted, about which I was very excited. The rude response more than popped my happy bubble and made me realize that some changed needed to be made. Here is what I said:
To my Facebook friends;
I've been thinking a lot about the internet lately and reflecting on some of the wisdom of the General Authorities of the Church. I’m sure I’m not alone in noticing all the people who threaten to leave Facebook, just to pop back on after a month or so. Some of you are seldom on, but some of you can’t let a day pass without checking status updates. Let’s face it: it’s the new way to keep up with your friends and acquaintances. It’s also a new addiction.
Like all technology, social media can be used for good or for evil (or bits of both). We've all had the experience of logging off only to be surprised at how much time has passed. It is time consuming and usually without much benefit.
I've often thought of closing my account, only to realize that I have many friends (especially those from other countries) with whom I would be hard pressed to stay in contact if I chose to leave. I've also remembered how easy it is to get the word out if we have something we want to tell everyone at once. And so I've stayed, feeling a little trapped and wishing there was an easy alternative.
So why is it that people so often wish to leave social media? Surely they aren't all time-wasting addicts who don’t have the self control to log out and live physical life. I have the answer: because people online are mean. It’s that simple. It is just easier to say mean things when you don’t have to see a person’s face or hear a person’s voice as they react. People feel empowered through the internet, because they are distant, and because there is so little accountability. People on Facebook are bullies.
No, not all of them, but enough to make just about anyone want to leave.
As a result of this experience, and not wanting to lose contact with many of my hard-to-reach friends, I've resolved to make some changes. I’m not leaving Facebook (at least for now). But I have put it to the chopping block.
In the first place, I don’t add people with whom I’m not friends. Simple enough: if I wouldn't stop and say hi, chat and tell them the same things I am writing as status updates, I don’t friend them. If we’re just not that close, why should they know all about my day, see pictures of my kids and hear all about my latest struggles?
As an alternative to this, people might just want to demonstrate some restraint in what they publish online. Some people would rather compete for the “Longest List of Friends” award, and if this is you, I advise you to be very careful about what you say. Think of some of the most obscure friends you have and then imagine saying the same thing you just wrote, to their face. (Your religious leader, your old roommate, your grandma, your ex, your sister’s friend’s husband, etc)
Personally, I like the freedom to be open in what I say, so I stringently filter my friends list.
Secondly, I have resolved to make Facebook a place where I (and my friends) can go to be uplifted, supported and loved. I will do my best to be kind, understanding, compassionate and uplifting to those with whom I come into contact. If any of my Facebook friends are unkind or demeaning to me then I delete them. Just like that. There is no room on my Facebook page for meanness, whether it is directed toward myself, my friends or my relatives.
From now on, I am hoping that I can change Facebook into a tool for good, instead of a time waster and a means to allow my supposed friends to tear me down. I do realize that most people are mostly good, and that people don’t usually intend to hurt others. Generally, when writing mean things online, one is being a cynic, insensitive, or just not thinking enough. Think, people. Think through the things you write. If you would not like to be on the receiving end of what you are about to say, don’t say it. Exercise a little more self control, a little more sensitivity, and a little more charity.
Facebook can be a place where friends connect, the Gospel is shared and people support one another. It is my hope that others will catch on to this concept and resolve to make their own online interaction consistent with these ideals.
I know I have been a bit of a cynic or a critic to some of you in the past. I apologize and ask your forgiveness. If you cannot forgive me, or don’t feel that interacting with me is uplifting or positive, please unfriend me. You deserve to be treated with respect and love, as do I. If ever I do offend you, please come to me in person, or through a personal message and allow me to correct my mistake. I promise to do the same in return.
Well, that about sums it up. I don't want to quit Facebook, but I can make it a better place. I think this really does apply to many other modern situations. Be nice.
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