Word Up

I've recently learned an important lesson and I feel like I should share.

First I want to point out that one usually learns a lesson many, many times before really getting it down. That's why no one is perfect. So when I say that I've recently learned this, I mean, again.

I realize that in the past I've been somewhat negative on the Internet. I'm not going to go into the reasons why, nor am I going to try and offer excuses or anything like that. I'm simply going to relate to you why I'm doing my best to change my tone.

I can be cynical at times, and at this particular time, I was raving/complaining about some inconsequential thing, and I had my foot shoved into my mouth by a few of my "friends". After the initial wave of hurt subsided, and I no longer felt like hurting anyone, the introspection began. Perhaps they were just giving me a taste of my own medicine.

Their words hurt me more deeply than I think they could have realized. If they were to read this now, I'm certain that two out of the three of them wouldn't even know I was referring to them and what they had said. I felt miniscule and stupid. I felt for awhile that everyone looked at me as unintelligent and extremely rude, and not just those three. I felt like a failure. Interesting, how powerful words can be, even when the one speaking them doesn't intend to give them with such force. Imagine how I might have felt had they actually been trying to belittle me! But I decided to give them the benefit of a doubt and realized that they were probably just poking fun.

But I wasn't amused.

And I realized then that I have probably been on the faulty side of that scenario plenty of times as well. Although one can never avoid offending everyone (since those around us often choose to take offense when none was intended), I know that I can be more sensitive to the feelings of those around me.

I've never liked the concept of beating around the bush, or of false compliments; I value honesty as one of the greatest of virtues. In my attempt to be honest with the world, I hoped that they would be so in return. But the lesson I've learned (again) is that honesty doens't always have to be harsh in order to be true. So how do we express what we really think of others, without belittling or tearing them down?

The answer is love. I'm not talking about the mushy-gushy kind; I'm talking about brotherly love; Christ-like love. When you look at another the way you would look at a most-beloved brother, most of the faults fade away, and you see the person for who they really are, instead of what they are doing. When reproach is needed, it is done for the purpose of building up and improving; it is done out of love for the person, wit patience, and with their ultimate well-being in mind.

Mind you, I know I can't do this perfectly, at least not now. Maybe I never will. But it's something to work toward. Words are powerful. With them, we can do so much more than we really realize. Please think twice about what you say to others, especially in public. You never know what pain you might cause, nor what happiness you could inspire. Be honest, but be kind.