First of all, giving gifts is a wonderful thing to do, especially during holidays, such as Christmas and birthdays. It's a material way to say "I love you", or "I appreciate you". And before I launch into my rant, I do have to acknowledge that it truly is the thought that counts. However, it is the thought that I want to encourage with this post.
When you are trying to find that perfect gift, do your homework. What do they like? want? dislike? already have? Too often we think more quickly about what we want, like or have. And since the gift giving is not about you, some times you have to invest in something you don't actually like.
Take my dad for example. All year long, he asks for things from the dollar store for his birthday, Christmas and Father's day. He says he has everything he needs, and he really just wants some dorky gift he won't feel bad breaking or losing. Yet year after year we delve into the depths of our wallets and imagination to attempt to produce something miraculously awesome for him. We spend time, money and energy on something that we only hope he wants. Because he's a nice guy, he usually really appreciates what we went through to get it for him, but more often than I think he lets on, he's just wishing we had just stuck with what he asked for.
The problem is, giving someone exactly what they ask for is boring. There's no surprise in it, and it seems to be a cultural idea that the "wow" of the gift is half the value of it, so if there is no "wow", it's really not all that good.
True, there are some who would rather be surprised, but even with those individuals, you really have to know them before you go for it, and risk getting something they hate.
And that leads me to my point: Don't get something for yourself. Let me explain.
If I happen to be an amazing cross-stitcher, I probably really enjoy doing it, and admire my work so much that I really think other people do/will too. So my friend's birthday is coming up, and I go to the craft store and buy the best thread, the best fabric and the best pattern they have. Then I spend four months working on this masterpiece, until finally her birthday comes around and it's ready. I proudly give her the gift I worked so hard on, and... she hates it. Oh, she'll try to act like it's nice. She'll genuinely appreciate what I went through to give it to her, but the truth is, she doesn't like cross stitch, I do! She doesn't like the pattern I picked, I do! This gift was really for me.
Opposite case-in-point, I hate computer gaming. It's one of the last things I would ever invest time or money in because it's simply not something I enjoy. However, my husband loves computer gaming, and I love my husband. So if I wanted to give him something for him, and not for me, I would find out which one he wants and get it for him. Voila.
I know it's hard to give people things you don't like, and I know it's even harder to understand why they don't want the gift that you like. But as I said, do your homework. If you really want to give a gift with meaning, you'll get something that they like, regardless of whether or not you like it.
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