Earlier this month they Gay Pride Festival took place, and with it, the annual Gay Pride march. Last year some LDS people shocked the nation by joining in the march, literally embracing their gay or lesbian fellow-marchers. Comments came pouring in-- surprise, admiration, condemnation, uncertainty and skepticism were just a few of the themes. Many people didn't know what to think. "Aren't Mormons anti-gay?" "Who put them up to that?" etc.
I have to admit, that this kind of reaction made me a bit sad. People think we hate homosexuals? They think we hate... anyone?
The truth of the matter is that accepting people and loving them with Christlike love is one of the core doctrines of our belief. Indeed, we proclaim ourselves to be followers of Christ. He taught by both sermon and example that all mankind deserves love and kindness. He taught us to serve, love and treat our fellowman with goodness. At no point did He ever instruct us to condemn people, to demean them or to disrespect them in any way. Not once did He say, "Well, in the special case of such-and-such kinds of people (like Samaritans, who were widely hated by the Jews at the time), it's okay to do a little mud-slinging and snubbing, because they're different. They don't live the way we do." And we uphold that in our doctrine, in our teachings and as best we can, in practice.
As in any religion, not all Mormons understand and practice their own doctrine 100%. In fact, I'd say none of us really do, or we'd be perfect. We go to church every week to be reminded of these important teachings and virtues, and then go out into the world, ready to try again to be a little better. When we slip up, we do what we can to make it right.
So for years, I was baffled, wondering why anyone could say we hated anyone. Never, in my entire life of near-perfect church attendance did I hear a teacher, speaker or general authority admonish us to turn our backs on anyone, or treat them any less than the way we would like to be treated.
Finally, I think I've figured out what the real problem is. The real rift comes in with the concept of identity. People all over the world, LDS and non-LDS alike fall into the trap of believing that you are what you do. In other words, people love labels. They may be a great cook, so they call themselves a cook. They might have a hard time waiting for things, so they label themselves "impatient". They may really love playing computer games, and are thus labeled, "gamer". People like to categorize themselves (and other people), and often feel that this act of labeling them makes them a part of something. That sense of belonging is comforting to people, and it often tells them how they should act, think or feel.
The teachings of Jesus Christ, however, tell us that there are really only one kind of people: people. We are all spirit children of God, and as such we all need love, acceptance, repentance and forgiveness. All of us. We all sin, we all make mistakes, we all have the makings of wonderful, indeed perfect, people. The problem with labeling ourselves is that what we do is almost always temporary. Our behavior does not define us. Our choices, although they have much influence over who we may become, are not always a reflection of who we truly are. I believe that people are no more or less that the deepest, most earnest desires of their hearts, regardless of mental, physical and emotional weaknesses. I believe that most people, deep down, want to do what is right, and are therefore good people. Do good people do bad things? All the time. And that's why religion and the Savior exists-- to help those who want to be better do just that.
Satan, the adversary, would have us believe that we are what we do, because then we will never move on from that. One of the most important principles of the Gospel of Jesus Christ is progression. Without it, we are, literally, condemned. (Think of a river being stopped in its progression downstream by a dam. Same concept.) Satan wants us to be comfortable with our behavior-- so much so that we feel it is who we are, and can never change. In fact, we don't want to change. Why change who you are? Just be yourself! These are the subtle types of messages he sends us.
The Lord, on the other hand, invites everyone to repent (meaning change, progress, improve) and do all we can to become like Him. We are imperfect and prone to making mistakes. He is perfect and never errs.
Now, the LDS church doesn't condemn people. But they do condemn certain behaviors. And this is where the misunderstanding takes place. We are taught that alcohol is bad for our bodies, but never are we told to hate and put down those who consume it. We are taught to keep the Sabbath day holy, but are never taught that we are worth less if we disobey. We are taught to live the law of chastity, which forbids sexual relationships to occur outside the bonds of marriage (which we believe can only exist between man and wife), but never, and in no way, are we taught to treat homosexual individuals with anything less than love and acceptance.
What many people fail to understand (and it makes me SO frustrated to see this) is that I can and do love people even though I don't love some of the things they do. Yes, it is possible to have full and unconditional love for someone who practices things I disagree with. It is the very gospel of Jesus Christ.
Even from the cross, as the Savior hung there dying, He spoke with love and forgiveness toward His executioners. Did He condone their behavior? No! Did He say, "Well, it's okay to beat and whip and crucify the Son of God, because I love you."? No. To the woman caught in adultery, did He say, "I accept what you're doing because I love you"? No, He forgave her and urged her to "sin no more" because He loved her. He loved the sinner, but (harshly, outright and without shame) condemned the sin. We are taught no differently.
The Prophet and Apostles have been very outspoken and very bold in proclaiming sexual activity between anyone other than husband and wife to be immoral and unacceptable to God Himself. It is no matter of opinion. It is a matter of right and wrong. They have taken a lot of flack because of it, being called intolerant and closed-minded. We, as members of the Church have been called haters because of our beliefs. But please understand this: the Savior lived what He taught, and although He was kind to all, never once tolerated sin. He forgave when He felt that repentance was genuine, but never gave any place for people to continue sinning. Read the New Testament! It's all there. Yes, it is possible to truly love people (and treat them with kindness and respect) even though you do not embrace some of the choices they make. Jesus did it. Why shouldn't we?
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