Before I even became pregnant I had decided that I was going to breastfeed my baby. I had educated myself on the benefits and had no problems with the concept of continuing to provide nourishment for my baby after she was no longer inside me. I made sure to do my homework on the subject, and found many important reasons to breastfeed, as well as how long is beneficial.
Personally, I never felt comfortable with the idea of breastfeeding a toddler, so I decided that I would only breastfeed as long as necessary to give my baby the optimum benefits. I had seen and heard of children who continued to nurse after learning to walk and talk, who could eat solid foods and who nursed standing up. (Am I the only one bothered by the idea of nursing a child who is old enough to write her name and speak in sentences?) My research taught me that since children can receive all the nutrients and antibodies they needed from solid foods, the only benefit at that age was comfort, and mothers are very capable of giving comfort to their young children through other means.
So I posted a question on Facebook, asking how long the nutritional benefits really last. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends nursing for a year, and the WHO actually recommends two years, but I haven't found any information that proves necessity of breastfeeding beyond 9 months. I was amazed at the responses I received.
Many women jumped on and rallied together to encourage me to "keep going" and "don't give up"! They told me that it would get easier, and that it's worth it. I'm not sure many women actually read my question. I wasn't about to give up breastfeeding; my baby wasn't even 3 months old at the time! I just wanted facts, and no one seemed to be able to give me any, beyond what I've stated in the last paragraph.
Okay, so this tells me, "There aren't really any necessary benefits beyond that. You just have to do it or else you're depriving yourself and your baby of some vague, but crucial benefit!"
Sounds like peer pressure to me.
I'm a pretty logically-minded person. I usually do things because I see the reasoning behind it, not because it gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling. I understand that nursing releases oxytocin which helps women feel calm and comfortable. Maybe that's something women feel they need. That's fine. But why do women have to tell other women that they (and their children) need it too?
Again, just like in the issue of gender equality, society seems to be swinging the pendulum wide, and the result is that I am feeling pushed to do something I was already planning on doing. That annoys me. Where is the research? Where are the facts? Just because something is "natural" doesn't mean it is always good and always appropriate. Arsenic is "natural". Sex is "natural". In my opinion, breastfeeding beyond when it is nutritionally beneficial to your baby is niether extra-healthy nor appropriate.
Not just with breastfeeding, but pretty much every aspect of raising a baby does peer pressure creep in. Shoot, even how to have the baby is full of people deciding what everyone should do. It's crazy.
ReplyDeleteWe had a little surprise bun in the oven when our first son was 7 months old and by the time he was 8 months I had totally dried up because of all the lovely pregnancy hormones. We don't like telling people we're pregnant for as long as we can (it's kind of like a game for us) and I got so many comments from the most random people about giving Peter a bottle. Most "forgave" me when they found out it was because we were expecting again and others basically told me I was still a failure because there are other women who nurse their kids all through the next pregnancy. You just can't win with people.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I think about you every Christmas when the Nutcracker ads come out! My sister still talks about going to watch you dance :)
my comment on your facebook post regarding the said incident was merely because I'd had so many people tell me to use formula, and that breastfeeding was "degrading" to women. I've seen so many of my friends that wanted to breastfeed fall victim to peer pressure to not breastfeed that I am apt to cheer on the efforts of a mother trying to give her child the best start she can provide. A baby's stomach isn't ready for cows milk until they are turn one year old. And so in my mind a baby should be breastfed until they are one. I believe formula should be used by women who cannot breastfeed and as such is a lifesaving tool for children that would otherwise suffer and die. My only point is I will not be swayed by those that would have me use formula to feed my child because it is more "convenient" for them. If I ask someone to babysit my child I expect them to follow my wishes as to how my child should be fed. And I stand up for moms (that can physically breastfeed)only because some struggle to stand up for themselves due to the loud voices around them telling them that there is something better out there then being a mother to one of God's precious children.
ReplyDeletePaul, you are abolutely right. There is peer pressure involved in every aspect of parenting.
ReplyDeleteTara, it's good to hear from you! I am amazed that you and your sister still remember those Nutcracker perfomances from so long ago. Thanks for your input.
Jessica,thank you for standing up for those who might be feeling put-down about breastfeeding. It's definitely a must, if it is possible, and I'm sure that there are those who are pressured into formula feeding because some people have a distorted view on breastfeeding.
A very controversial topic. Thanks for everyone's feedback!